The Bigger Picture

Lord, give me Your perspective today and for my future. Bless me with the ability to understand the bigger picture and to distinguish the valuable from the unimportant.

-Stormie Omartian

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him. Psalm 34:8

Perspective, it really makes a world of difference when you've got it but it's the gettin it that can sometimes be the problem. I can have such a hard time seeing anything outside of the situation I am in, it is so difficult for me to see the bigger picture and I often end up immersing myself in whatever it is that I am trying to get out of. The more time I spend focusing on the stress of the moment, the more worked up I become. Perspective is not even a word in my vocabulary at that point but every now and then I will send up a prayer in exasperation. I am so thankful that the Lord is faithful to his promises. My stresses or problems of the day don't magically disappear but He does give me His perspective and peace and suddenly things don't seem quite so bad.

WARNING: This is an official rant!

I am annoyed. It is 11:00pm and my son is STILL not asleep. I am tired from not having a single moment to rest today and I am irritable because it is so freaking hot and to top it all off my husband is sleeping on the couch! My teeth are barred, it's a good thing it's late and there is no chance of some unsuspecting visitor dropping in. I would hate for anybody to lose their head for no good reason other than that I am in growly mood. My mood continues to sour as I listen to the cries of Jamison coming from the monitor which is sitting about 3ft from the couch, grrrr!

This is when a girl really needs her chocolate and I have none. Grrrr!

I tried to escape the noise by sitting on the deck, all I could hear was someone else's baby crying from one house and from another, a child screaming. Add to that a bug continually buzzing in my ear, double grrrr!

Did I mention that I don't have any chocolate? Grrrr!

Here's hoping that tomorrow is a better day, for my sake and for yours ;)

From Diapers to Panties........We hope!

Today is the day. The day to say good-bye to diapers and hello to panties. Okay, so maybe we won't say adios to diapers quite yet, but hopefully today begins our journey to the end of them. The potty was purchased many months ago when I was pregnant and disillusioned. I thought I could have Tayah trained before I gave birth to our second child, let's keep in mind that Tayah was only 22 months when Jamison was born, I really wasn't thinking to clearly. At least Tayah has had the time to get well acquainted with her potty. She actually became very excited when I told her she could run around without a diaper or pants on as long as she went on the potty when she had to go. Now it is very likely that it was the idea of running around half naked that excited her and not the potty but we'll just try and ignore that thought. I'm thinking that tomorrow we will go with wearing a sun dress, I went out to water the plants and out comes bare bottomed Tayah ready to help, I sent her back in the house to put on her shorts. Something must have got lost in translation because she quickly returned wearing rubber boots and no shorts. I gotta give the girl some credit though, we are always telling her she needs to put her shoes on before she can come outside, she usually doesn't have to worry about the shorts :)
Well, isn't this just perfect timing?! I was just about to write about how successful this whole potty training thing is going when I heard a little voice say "I'm peeing". Thankfully it happened on the kitchen floor and all that was required was some paper towel and a lysol wipe. I know, I know, expect that this will happen again and next time I may not be so lucky. We are prepared, along with a drawer full of new princess panties, a stack of reward treats in the cupboard, we also have a lifetime supply of paper towel in the basement, as well as carpet cleaner and lysol wipes which are ready and waiting to go into battle. Let the fun begin!

Whew! It's over, the weekend that is. It was a great weekend but a very busy one. My Grandparents came into town on Wednesday and so from Thursday thru to Saturday most of my time was spent with them. It's always exciting when Grandpa and Grandma come for a visit, even at the age of 27. One of my favorite things to do with them is to sit and listen to their many stories. Stories of growing up, stories of past jobs they have had, stories of family, funny stories that make you laugh so hard you can hardly catch your breath and stories of heart break that nearly bring you to tears. Many of the stories I have heard before but every now and then a new tidbit of information is added to the collection. I take great delight in learning something new about my Grandparents, they have loved unconditionally, achieved much, overcome many hardships and endured great loss.

I have many memories of going to Grandpa and Grandma's' house. My siblings, cousins and I would spend hours in the play room entertaining ourselves. Usually we played "house" or "school" but every now and then we would get creative. My cousin and I became entrepreneurs at the age of 11 as we opened "Cousin to Cousin Employment Agency". We had a very large and elite clientele which included Mariah Carey, Deborah Gibson, Paula Abdul, and of course our husbands, Donnie Walhberg and Jordan Knight as well as the rest of the members of New Kids on the Block. We always took a lunch break at noon, at which time we were served a delicious meal of cheese toast and dill pickles followed by a cookie from Grandma's cookie jar. It is still one of my favorites and every time I am back in Saskatoon I put in my request for cheese toast. No one can make it like Grandma can and it just tastes better on one of Grandma's dishes, served alongside a beverage in a blue, yellow or green kids tupperware cup. How great it is to have such a wonderful memory that can be relived every time I savour a bite of cheese toast!

My Grandmother is a wonderful lady; she is warm, caring, generous, loves to laugh, dependable, everything a grandmother should be. She bakes, she sews, she knits and crochets, she gardens, she has a little lap dog that has become her baby. She is a nurturer. I have always known this about my Grandma and have always felt close to her.

My Grandfather is a great man but I never really felt as though I connected with him. I was always proud of him and loved him deeply but, I must admit that I was always a bit timid around him. My Grandpa is not one to express his emotions, he's not the type to say I love you or envelop a child in a big warm hug and I think I interpreted all of this as him not being interested. This weekend I witnessed something different. It was so heartwarming to watch Grandpa interact with my kids. He lights up when he sees them and takes great delight in the cute, and at times ridiculous, little things that come out of Tayah's mouth. The greatest moment I had this weekend was when my Grandpa came over to Jamison when he started fuss. He took him out of my arms and went over to the window where the two of them sat for quite awhile, taking in all that was going on outside. I could hear my Grandpa talking to him, I'm sure pointing out different things, and every now and then I would see Jamison look up at his Papa and their eyes would meet, it was a beautiful sight. But it was when my Grandpa started to sing to Jamison that I began to see him in a different light. I recognized the songs as songs he used to sing to me when I was younger and it was then that I realized my Grandpa felt, and still feels, the same way about me and all his grandkids as he does Jamison. I always knew he loved us but this weekend I saw it expressed and it is picture that I will never forget.

Life Through The Eyes Of A Babe

Imagine if every day held a new experience, a gift ready to be unwrapped. My son is six months old and each morning he wakes up ready to explore the world around him. He finds great excitement in the smallest of things and it is incredible to observe. Today he made a new friend, his whole body wriggled with excitement at the sight of this little girl, he couldn't wait to get his hands on her! Yesterday he discovered my brother's kitten, his big blue eyes never left her as she scampered around the living room. Sunday he discovered the flowers on Grandma's deck. He was in awe. He just sat there staring, his eyes becoming bigger by the second as he took in their brilliant color and design. Then he went for it, his arms began to flutter as he awkwardly reached for a petal all the while babbling in anticipation. The delight he felt once that flower was in his chubby little hands was expressed by the giggles that bubbled out of him, it was a sweet moment. To see a babe discover their world makes one realize just how much we take for granted. How many times have I walked out the door and never taken the time to marvel at the beautiful flowers growing in my garden or taken delight in watching a kitten clumsily pounce on anything and everything that gets in its path. It is so easy to let each day pass without enjoying the little gifts it has to offer, it really is a shame. When did life get so busy? When did checking off the to do list become more important than taking a moment to rest and stand in awe of the beauty that surrounds us? Hmmm, I think it's time to slow down a little and follow my sons lead, he may be on to something.

Someone is watching me, someone is copying my every move, I am being followed and my words are being repeated. Sounds scary doesn't it? I am sitting here observing Tayah play and it is a wee bit frightening. She is essentially reinacting how I go about doing things throughout my day. Everything, from gathering the baby and her purse as she is on her way out the door to an imaganary friends house, I hear a "see you later guys" and she is off. She then quickly reimerges as she remember she doesn't have her keys and throughout the house you can hear her calling out "where's my keys? have you seen my keys? where my keys goes? This is looking and sounding way too familiar! Next I watch as she disciplines her baby, "look at me, look at me, baby look at me, look at me. You better listen, you hear me, better listen baby, look at me. You go to yer room." I am quite relieved to hear her say all this in a calm voice because quite honestly, she doesn't always hear it in such a calm voice. Talk about someone keeping you accountable! I am suddenly feeling very overwhelmed at the huge responsibility of raising a child. Perfection is unattainable, I am bound to mess up and to me, that is a scary realization. I hope and pray that my children grow up to be happy well rounded adults and that I am able to teach them and instill in them good morals and values. I hope that I am able to model for them what it is like to have grace and compassion for others and also how to forgive others when they have wronged you. I have a feeling that I will be coming to them on many occassions to ask for their forgiveness, I think I may have to start practicing humility as well :)

This is my favorite time of day, the kids are asleep in their beds, the to do list has been attempted ( would love to say completed but that would be an out right lie) and the house is quiet. Ahhhhhh. It is the time of day when I have a moment completely to myself, it's too late for the phone to ring, too early for Jamison to wake for a night feeding, nothing but silence. It is bliss.
It was a busy day today, out of the house by 9:00am for a breakfast meeting. I know, to most 9:00 is not early, but when you have a two year old, a six month old and yourself to get out the door, the morning starts out quite early and with a fair amount of chaos I might add. If it were not so late I would elaborate, but it is, and this momma is a tired one, it won't be long until the silence is replaced by the pitter patter of little feet.
Sweet Dreams